A.Genius Returns

Dear world.

To say I've been away for a while would be an understatement.

I've more than neglected my blogging responsibilities, which i deeply apologize for...

I managed to suck up my pride and return to what fuels my nerdy sense of imaginiation thanks to a little help from my Aunt & Mother.

I thought there is no better way to return to you all than with hot gossip from what is probably my favourite event of the year, The MOBO Awards.

MOBO 2011

No-one will understand the somersault my face performed when I unsuspectingly 

walked into the VIP hotel's lobby with pink curlers all over my head....

It wasn't the hair accesories that was the problem,

it was more the fact that there was multiple celebrities and industry proffesionals,

mosying around the lobby bearing witness to the assorted candyfloss on my head.

The strange thing was I wasn't ashamed in the slightest, 

I was more disgusted at myself for not being ashamed, 

if that is actually possible ?!

Until a photographer from Loose Women 'papped' my mother and I... 

and then all was forgotten about my dilema, 

however I can see these photos creeping back to haunt me or my kids in later years. 

The night continued in top form, 

my uncle @BOBBYBOVELL was nominated but unfortunately just missed 

out on the Best Gospel category....

I then reassured him that his swag wasn't compact enough to fit into the category 

without pushing all the other nominees aside, and that his time will soon come...

Because it's never to soon for jokes.

Proceeding the awards I attended the Vip After Party with my uncle.

I met so many lovely people who were all down to earth and friendly, 

memories that I will never forget 

(that last line sounds like I'm going to break into song)

Myself and Preeya Kalidas

Myself and Vis

.... However ....

What I am about to lay down on this screen for you is a moment too epic

that even a Aspiring Genius such as myself couldnt comprehend the 

intensity of what had just happened...

The time: A wintery wednesday night,

The place: The Corinthian Club - Scotland,

The mood: Fabulous with a hint of swag.... 

I'm sitting down doing a little 'chair bubbling' enjoying the music,

Dappy ...yes Dino Contostavlos from NDubz enters the club. 

Everyones doing some sort of side eye manover trying not to be too bait 

about checking out the celebrity that just entered the room in a gorgeous

electric blue suit that only he could pull off with a matching Obey Snapback. 

Dappy and his entourage are now standing directly in front of me, 

with their backs towards me.... until, Dappy 

(or Daps as I should now call him) 

turns around smiles at me, stretches out his hand towards me for mine, 

grabs my hand and says ''You alright darling'', 

gives me a cheeky little smile (He also smized at me)

,turns around and dissapears off with his henchmen. 

Well everyones now wondering who the hell I am for him to physically acknowledge me,

I was wondering myself but I wasn't going to let them know that. 

If I wasn't so busy maintaining my celebrity status I would've legged it for my inhalor, 

but I probably could've had someone bring it over for me. I wish. 

The event as a whole was such a good night, 

very different to Liverpool cause Scouseland did it BIG last year 

*A.Genius at the MOBOs 2010*

but it was still quite sick... 

So the next day, I'm standing in the hotel lobby waiting on the lift, 

and along it comes, 

the doors open and who else but Tinchy Stryder swaggers out. 

Picture this, we maintain eye conact throughout the lift exchange,

he then points at my hoodie and says 

''YMCMB Young Money Cash Money Billionares, Sickkk'' 

and I reply with 

''Yeah it is init haha''

The lift doors then shut and i found myself alone sitting on the lift floor 

hypenventilating wondering where on earth was my assistant/henchman with my Inhalor ?

Still Aspiring

 

A.Genius Holiday

U.S.A

View from my hotel onto 6th Ave.

For the last Month I've been living it up in the United States of America ...

So this Special Edition USA blog will be my accounts of my trip, 

written on my trusty BlackBerry as the predicaments happened  ..

America is strange and different,

but when I sit down in a restaurant for breakfast with my family, 

I don't expect to look up towards the ceiling and see a giant Cockroach staring in my face,

like me and him are long time friends who would love to catch up over a cup of coffee 

(see what i did there *Literally over a cup of coffee*)

........

I'm currently sitting in the bank, and a man has parked his orange pickup

truck in the car-park with his dog in the back ... 

Totally normal and a expected thing had it not been for the fact that

the dog pulled up with his sunglasses on his furry forehead,

and then proceeded to put them on his eyes ..
Yeah pink sunglasses on the dogs head.

Everyone knows that America is home to the wild and weird,
but I'm contemplating whether everyone including me in this bank are 

seeing things cause this cannot be a normal occurrence.
People over here take everything to the extreme,
some guy was talking to a shop assistant about his new baby which
was asleep in its pushchair, 
turns out the 'baby' was a DOG,
yes a DOG in a PUSHCHAIR
.. as in ....
the 'Woof Woof' was in the Pram.

.......

Because car journeys back in England are not filled with an

assortment of painful occurrences, such as my sister singing her improvised

version of what I could only describe as JLS/Jason Derulo mixtape.

My parents have had a wonderful idea, 

that we take a road trip down to surprise my great aunt in Boston ... 

Yes 20 hours of undisturbed joy and family bonding.. Ahem ..

  

  Little Lili giving her evil eye.

We've just left International Drive in Orlando, Florida ..

Imagine acres of every shop you could ever imagine..

Needless to say I've spent a large wad of cash,

and bought 4 pairs of shoes within 2 hours ..

... and nearly broke down in a fit of 

hysteria and melted into one of my legendary pools of hot chocolate after I

visited the American Apparel store ..

We are currently on our way to some other state ... 

Last night was epic to say the least,

we went from Orlando to South and North Carolina, 

Washington DC to New Jersey, then Connecticut ...

Florida

South Carolina

The White House

Capitol Hill, DC

Washington DC

Then we stopped at a hotel for the night in order to rid ourselves of the Car hair 

and to generally prevent us from turning up on my great aunts door step

like wild animals whom have been dragged through a bush backwards... 

My Aunts reaction was priceless,

after showing her complete and utter surprise she went on to verbally

attack us for not telling her about the surprise, 
(as if a surprise can still be a surprise when 
you warn the person you're surprising)

she then nearly burst into tears from happiness.. 
.. good times.

 Yesterday we got snowed in by a ginormous blizzard, 
like literally couldn't leave the city....

so my cousins took us all Sledding down some huge mountain that had me
questioning my sanity by the time I had climbed to the top. 

Needless to say black folk and snow do not go together,

I had on enough clothes to attract pitiful looks
from other people when I was eating 

(In America, if you see a fat person
they are generally eating, but that's a whole other story)

By the time I returned home,
I had snow and ice in places that I'm positive never existed up until that point.
Maybe they did exist, but I've never checked so .. ahem ..

After a wonderful time in Rhode Island, we set off for New York city !!

We spent 4 days in New York city 29thDec - 1stJan,
doing nothing but shopping and eating 

and some more shopping and a bit of sleeping ...

I have never been anywhere where you can leave your hotel at 2am and
go shopping because everywhere is open and busy ...

I have quite possibly strained both 

my wrists from carrying heavy shopping bags ..

 The fact that my dad managed to blag our way into a restricted area of Time Square

on New Years Eve was probably the highlight of my trip ...
2010 was an amazing year for me, 2011 should be even better .



*For some reason I suddenly lost all control of my lisp*

Still Aspiring

1AM Thoughts.

TV is becoming more and more entertaining everyday, 

yet full of crap every second.

As I a sit here contemplating my sanity, at 1am in the morning,

I have come to realize that the world is strange strange place when I'm

suddenly able to relate to the outspoken Irish dude with the Jewfro in Misfits.

Apart from us sharing the same hair, 
his ability to say the most politically incorrect things
without thinking twice is a skill I hope to one day achieve.

I'm always watching television thinking 
''Imagine how sick that would be if it was my actual life!'' 
though I don't generally tend to have that thought whilst watching a
episode of CSI or Criminal Minds where some girl gets kidnapped and murdered.

C'mon, everyones had that moment where they've stopped 
during some sort of situation and looked around to all their friends and 
exclaimed ''This is like something out a film'' .. 

(This is that silent moment where everyone reads their screen 
like 'erm nope' never done that, so I'm just gonna sit here in my 
virtual pool of shame and bask in the ambiance of my internal embarrassment)
(Now I sound like I've got some sort of bowel disease)

.  .  .  .  .

However, I've recently been noticing my sudden habit of saying 
my thoughts out loud...Now this is not me 
'Saying what I think'
.... No ....
This is me no longer thinking in private, instead I voice my
thoughts for all to hear completely unintentionally.
Not a problem at all, yanno, unless your thoughts like mine,
are often completely inappropriate for the current situation,
or are so creative and experimental that they make no
sense to anyone but yourself.
Ahem.
The worst thing is I speak before I can stop my mouth, 
and by then it's usually to late.
 

Still Aspiring

Its Fabreezing.

You know its winter when the realization hits you that you're 

gonna have to wear your whole wardrobe at once.

 No lie, I was lying in bed last night thinking ..

''There's guys all over England asking girls
  what they're wearing to bed right now, and receiving the reply ..

Two pairs of Pyjamas

3 Pairs of socks

A size XL Hoodie 

and a Hat ''

Why this amused me so much I don't quite know, 

but I was laughing quite loudly at 2am this morning.

You definitely know its winter when you actually contemplate

putting 3 pairs of tights on underneath your jeans..

The cold makes us do the strangest things,

like I suddenly develop the ability to get dressed in the morning in 30seconds flat, 

completely clothed .. I'm talking scarf and gloves included....

just to minimize the length of time my body is exposed to the open air.

Guys be warned, during the winter, 
underneath the layers and layers of clothes girls legs are hairy...
Leg hair becomes a sort of insulation, 
and if they're not exposed there's no harm in letting 
them grow until it's time to hit the town.

When I was little we didn't get snow like this every winter,

I remember praying for at least 2inches to settle on the ground and it barely did.

In the last few years the snow has been going in, it was great at first,

until it turned to ice and left everyone miserable.

Once the snow turns to ice and sludge, in an attempt to stay on their feet,
everyone starts to walk like they've soiled themselves in their pants...

The funniest thing is when you see someone about to fall,
and they seem to go down in slow motion..

first they pull some dodgy face with their mouth wide open,

then they start to yell and throw their arms backwards, 

lastly they grab onto anything around them including strangers as a final

resort to hang onto their last shred of dignity...

Little do they know, their dignity was long gone 

way before they connected with the pavement.

The worst is the look of shame. 

I call it the look of shame because when someone drops, 

they then look around hoping nobody saw them hit the floor,

the shame part comes when the person on the floor 

happens to look across the road and notice me

staring at them, 

pointing, 

and mouthing ''SHAMEEEE''

Still Aspiring

Enough is Enough

Please explain to me. . . 

Because I'm dying to know . . .

At what point do people decide that they are going to post naked

pictures of themselves on the internet ? ?

I really just don't understand the concept and thought pattern of these people, 

do they jump out the shower.. 

About to grab their towel,

and double take when they catch their own naked reflection in the mirror .. 

At this moment these attention seeking monkeys must think 

*insert excited voice*

''If I like looking at myself naked, 

then amma show the world'' .. 

There really isn't any other explanation for the stupidity. 

Firstly, half the girls are about 14years old ... 

Secondly, the picture is even more of a fail when the phone is 

caught in shot and its some sort of Nokia 3210 lookalike...

What I also don't understand is the whole 

'Me Before bed' or 'Me first thing in the morning'

caption when the girl obviously plastered her 

mug in crayola makeup especially for her bedroom photo shoot ..

 

Ok this may be a slight exaggeration but you get the idea. 

 I cannot stress how much this irritates me. 

But in the same breath, 

we cannot forget the guys who pose for their own camera in their Boxers.

In all honesty, no-one actually wants to see this kind of image on Facebook or twitter... 

So keep it under wraps people for the sake of my eyesight and sanity, 

and general well being !

>>><<<

On a completely different note, as I assume he doesn't want to be 

associated with naked Facebook stalkers...

I'm currently blogging from a top secret Liverpool location

that cannot be disclosed for security reasons .. 

And some random dude (not so random I guess) called Kof

(who you should know from the 'All Good' video that I posted a few days ago)

has been asking me for a shout-out for the past hour or so ..

So here it goes, Hey. 

Wow, epic I know. 

  

Still Aspiring

Exclusive Wiley - Party Pooper Video

Here is the Wiley video to the song Party Pooper.

Directed by Mr. GreenVideos.
I was actually in the video, 
but my brother (Mr.Green) sneakily edited me out. 
Par on my life. 
Never mind. 
Enjoy...

 

    

     

Still Aspiring 

All Alone ..

As I'm writing this, 

I'm currently sitting in the most awkward position ever...

I'm asking myself, why is my life so complicated?

If I was the big guy in heaven I would probably be

pointing and laughing at my very existence ...

My mum is an hour late to pick me up from dance training because she's 

confused the times, so I am the last person sitting in silence with my dance tutor ..

I can tell we are both praying for my mother to 

walk in the door at any moment now !

Teachers are awkward enough outside of a class setting 

let alone when you've got to sit for a whole hour with them,

painfully entertaining conversation..

I would gladly shrivel up this very second and

melt into a blubbering hot chocolate mess 

(hot chocolate, cause no matter the situation, 

you must always look hot) 

Ahem. . 

I'm trying my hardest not to add any humour into this blog for two reasons 

1. Firstly so that none of you readers will laugh at my utterly distressing predicament 

and 

2. Secondly because I'm a wiener who laughs at her own jokes, 

and unfortunately for me, if I write something funny I will definitely

burst into a fit of hysterics which will cause my teacher to stare at me,

or even worse ask me what is so funny ... 

And that is just extra social awkwardness I would love to live 

without.

I don't even know why I've mentioned awkwardness so much in this post,

I'm currently emerged in it, so my attempt at trying to avoid it is pointless..

I'm afraid that ship has sailed sank and I was the girl all alone playing the 

violin when it went down below sea level ...

Still Aspiring

Neighbours

Neighbours are the most unpredictable bunch of people you will ever know.

I'm not talking about that annoying soap where everyone

talks with a foreign accent.... I mean your actual everyday neighbours.

Where ever you live you always have the 'difficult' neighbour,

.....yanno....

the one who complains about the loud parties and the

kids football that keeps going over the wall !!

What do they want you to do about the parties ?

Cancel your birthday until its an appropriate time for them ?

 Doughnuts ...

I like to imagine these kind of people as socially challenged

 idiots who sit in their houses all day long waiting for a bit of

 excitement in their lives, that may come in the form a child's small ball...

Is it just me or is that last statement creepy ?!

 Having said that it does express how dodgy these neighbours actually are !

There's always the arguers ...

In my street they come in the form of two lesbian lovers who live directly

opposite my house and also a chavy family a few doors down.

The lady lovers physically and verbally argue constantly,

 and they once smashed their own windows in...

Don't ask me, I really don't understand the concept of smashing

your own windows, you must be real special to feel that you've won the

 argument after smashing your own window...

Who's feelings is that supposed to hurt exactly ?

 Erm. Ok.

Everyone has the nosey neighbour.

My version stands outside her house no matter what weather it is,

 she lives on the opposite side of the road a few doors down..

She has an ASBO daughter who thinks it's ok to emerge from

her own house looking like a smack'ed who hasn't had her fix ..

You can just tell from the way she looks that she definitely hasn't had a bath

(unless you count body spray as a bath)

(if you do count body spray as a bath you're just disgusting)

 but that's just one of my many assumptions because in the 5years

 I've been her neighbour I haven't ever dared to get close enough

 to prove my theories correct !

My nosey neighbour also has a son who I am convinced must be suffering

 from some sort of mental lack of common sense and general

 basic intelligence, this is not another assumption, these theories were made

 concrete from the moment I saw the kid running down the road,

 at top speed,

sprinting like he was in the Olympics,

 in nothing but a bath towel. . .

Yet after all this,

the woman still gossips in the sunshine and the snow,

 in her pyjamas.. with other neighbours as if her own family are angels.

Now absolutely everyone has that one neighbour

 who they suspect of being a full blown crack dealer.

Now I'm not even talking weed or ''happy cigarettes''

I'm talking a established crack'ed factory supplier...

I know that the amount of dodgy happenings on my street is no

 coincidence, and some peoples behaviour just leads

 me to come to that one and only conclusion...

I refuse to put specifics on A.Genius as I am a valued member

of the community who would be gravelly missed if anything

suspicious ever happened to my dear self

*ahem*

but trust me folks, I'm speaking the truth.

Still Aspiring

"All Good"

All Good

It's amazing to think what goes on behind the scenes of amazing music videos.

Usually there is hair and makeup and 6ft models ..

(except for the models part, cause I ain't saying much but us girls looked fhinneeee) 
*The reality of this statement will hit you when you watch the video*

Ahem. As you do.

The whole day was just a freezing cold blur of trekking around Liverpool with 

@Kofmusic  @MrGreenVideo @EscoWilliams 

@Yaw_Owusu @Kaththespaniard & myself @AspiringGenius

We came up against difficult situations and near death experiences 

(Kof and Esco skanking, yes skanking, about on a 50ft ledge)

but the video turned out excellent and my honest opinion is that you've got 

to be slightly unstable in the brain not to crack a smile at this video !! 

Enjoy !!

  

Still Aspiring

Queen - Delleile Ankrah

Brand New Exclusive Video Snippet 

Featuring the talented Delleile Ankrah on vocals, 

Wayne Coker assisting with song writing and

Johahn Moore on Guitar.

All three wrote the song together and it could potentially be quite big !

You heard it here first !! 

 

Non-Aspiring Parent

My little sister thinks that when I'm in the bath that's her cue for conversation time. 

She will not speak to me all day, but as soon as I'm in the bath 

she must come in and have a full blown mothers meeting with me.

What is it with kids and the bathroom, they think its a playground.

One day I came home to find that she had covered the whole bathroom in toilet paper 

...Enough said. 

Anyone with a little sister/brother/niece/nephew/cousin would have experienced this, 

when you take the child shopping the child may momentarily call you mum or dad, 

based on the fact that they are used to being taken out by their parents...

But as a young person with no kids of your own, 

the minute that child mistakes you for their parent,

your whole life flashes before your eyes and the reality hits that in twenty

years time someone may actually be calling you mum or dad. 

(Hopefully you wont be called mum and dad,  cause that's just weird)

But for now you turn around and snap,

''I'm not your mother/father ''

....

Now this statement has many-a-times caused the whole shop to 

come to a awkward stand still at the declaration

that I am not my little sisters mother... 

As if I'm revealing some sort of harsh reality and family secret in such a public way ... 

This silence carries on until my little sister responds 

''oohhh haha I meant Jam not mum''

then all is calm again in the balance of the universe.

Children have been known to do some strange things .. 

I am the classic example. 

I could read fluently from the age of two, 

yet I didn't realise hair didn't grow back instantly. 

Allow me to explain...

When I was four years old I witnessed my mum trimming my dads hair,

so with me being the adventurous rebel that I was and still am (ahem), 

I decided to run into the next room,

hide underneath the table and chop off random patches of my hair. . . .

To this day I have a vivid memory of the whole episode, 

and I cannot even begin to express the amount of joy it gave me to chop off my hair,

which upon reminiscing about, i now find my excitement quite disturbing. 

Any who,

once my parents noticed my absence it was abit too late.

After their initial shock they explained to me that I was destined 

to have bald patches for a while until it grew back. 

You should of seen my face, i remember that feeling of sadness as well...

Moral of the story,

keep the scissors in the bathroom, 

and keep the bathroom door locked.

Still Aspiring

Nothing on TV

TV programs are amazing these days.

You can learn and buy anything on television.

Last night I found myself watching 

CSI ,NCIS, Law & Order and Criminal Minds 

all in a row.

I felt like a criminal all night cause I instinctively knew everything that was gonna happen, 

from the murder weapon to the crime motive.

*Does anybody know if it's normal to know how to remove fingerprints 

with a toothpick and some alcohol gel*

TV seems to make us all believe were something that in reality we aren't. 

Take Gok Wan... The mans got hundreds of people everywhere

thinking they are professional stylists ... 

Talking about pear shaped bodies and creating definition in the waist line...

In reality, most people wouldn't be able to match their own shoes 

if they didn't come in pairs, let alone style each other.

Now,

sometimes the culture of the everyday general public has been known to 

cross over into the celebrity entertainment business.....

I vividly remember sitting at home hearing Simon Cowell refer to an

XFactor contestant as having unbelievable SWAGGER... 

Well .. 

I wasn't sure what to do with myself at that point, 

one half of me wanting to vomit with disgust and the other half of me

was physically cringing at the mere thought of Simon in a American Apparel hoddie 

and some Nike SBs talking like he was 20years old...

Then to my horror Cheryl used it repetitively throughout the series,

and combined with her Geordie accent,

it's safe to say I was pretty close to crawling underneath the table and

rocking back and forth in the fetal position..

You've all been there... 

At 2am in the morning, 

you're clawing your eyelids to stay open,

there's nothing to watch so you find yourself 

listening to Bob and Wendy informing you of the 

**Super Slicer**

and suddenly you're wide awake because the

**Super Slicer**

 will transform your every meal into a artistic masterpiece and have

everyone at your dinner parties in awe.

 These people are called 'non actors' yet I have never in all my years 

seen a pair of people so enthusiastic about a food utensil.

By the end of the infomercial I sit there convinced that with Bob and Wendy 

in my life, everything will be perfect, 

and my celery will be diamond shaped. 

I don't even like celery. 

Still Aspiring

You can't handle the truth

Ladies, we're in the day and age when beauty is made to be the 

most important thing in life. These days weaves can look so real that

you're left wondering if your own family member has suddenly 

(within a week) grown a floor length blond head of hair.

Nails...

 

Padded push up bras ....

Eyelashes.....

Bum pads......

Coloured contacts ....

Tan in a can ......

 

Extensions .....

and Amazing makeup.....

 

all contribute to an false image that some people don't even empty the bins without.

Now Guys, 

the next time you decide to chat to a girl on a night out try and imagine 

what she would look like without all the magical products.

Minus all the cosmetics,

she's probably a flat chested,

man pecks, no backoff girl ...

With a face full of red spots that resemble craters in the moon,

nails looking like she ate them for dinner,

and a head (of something not quite identifiable) that has been 

dragged through a bush backwards.

So once that skin shimmer has washed off,

and she no longer has that amazing glow, 

you're gonna wonder how drunk you were that night !

Remember you vow to love her throughout sickness and health,

 makeup-less and bad hair days,

whether she tricked you or not .. 

Lets be honest, guys complain about girls not being 100% natural, 

but are they actually sure they want 100% natural.

Still Aspiring

A.Genius should know better

I'm currently nursing my wounds.

I have been shut out of the cyber world for what I like to call 

*innovatively prompting self development*

the moderators like to call it 

*Spamming*

but that's just such an ugly word, and I WASN'T spamming.

...

Allow me to explain.

I haven't been well for a few days, 
so my laptop has been my main companion from dawn till dusk.

So between my constant Tweeting, 
abusing my keyboard on Facebook chat and updating the arl Blog, 

I developed my rebel streak.

 I decided to answer some blog related questions on the website AnswerBag.com ..

Except, I answered those questions as planned and then got a little carried away with 

hundreds of other questions on the innovative site. 

Every question I came across I answered in some sort of sarcastic or simple way.



Question: How do you potty train a young child ?

Answer by A.Genius: Let the kid pee in your shoes. 
How else do you think you piece of bum fluff, 
put the kid on the potty !


...

Question: What do Batteries run on ?

Answer: In the Duracell batteries there's tiny little bunnies running all day long, 

dunno about the other brands though !

... It gets worse ...

Question: Are Rabbits feet lucky ? 

Answer: Why don't you ask the decapitated Rabbit, he had four.

*A.Genius would like to apologise for the hurt and cringing these 

questions and answers may have caused*

  

It's not my fault that I was born with a strange sense of humor and a awkward personality, 

plus I'm immune toward embarrassment therefore I like to see how far I can push

things for my own private jokes.

The funny thing is, 

the people asking these questions really do expect a serious answer to solve

their problems, imagine their faces when they read my answer !

So I've now been banned from the site for a month, 

and my first call of duty once I get back answering peoples question, 

is to find out which little idiots reported me to the moderators.

Still Aspiring

Aspiring Adults

Throughout most peoples childhood there would have been that one
banging song that was so sick, 

but totally inappropriate for a 7year old to sing along to. 

Personally I loved R.Kelly - Ignition 

...

 Lyrics:

Now its like murder she wrote
Once i get you out them clothes
Privacy is on the door
Still they can hear you screaming more
Girl I'm feeling what you feeling
No more hoping and wishing
I'm about to take my key and

Stick it in the ignition

 ... 

Its only when the song came on MtvBase today, that I actually burst into a fit of 

hysteria thinking about me and my cousins singing 
the song word for word when our parents weren't listening, 

winding out our necks and fully immersing ourselves in the remix.

At the time I didn't think anything was wrong with it, 

I was obviously completely innocent to the meaning of the song,

and that's how I should have been ! 

In all fairness the songs back then have nothing on the ones now ...

For instance Lil Jon's song Get Low is so terrible I wouldn't even sing it myself, 
let alone a small child singing it with passion and conviction ..

.. Check the Lyrics:

To the window, to the wall, (to dat wall)
To the sweat drip down my balls (MY BALLS)

..

(The rest of the lyrics are far too inappropriate for my younger readers

and may cause the older ones to have a heart attack) 

Having said that, my 6yr old sister and I do sing the whole 'sweat dripping' 

phrase to just wind my mum up.

...

One of my most favorite songs ever is called 'Call Me' by Skyy

I guess there were little kids back in the day screaming this in front of their radios 

to the disappointment of their mothers ! 

 

'Though your girlfriends a friend of mine, here's my number and a dime call me anytime''

Still Aspiring

Funny

Never in my life have I been Funny.

 Honestly though !

 .
Your probably reading this thinking

''Jam you are hilarious and so talented and sophisticated .. blah blah blah''

Ahem. Back to the point. 
.

You've probably read in my 'About me' how my mum is the only person that finds me funny. 

I'm as serious as a heart attack...

I'm that friend that comes out with the deadout shouts and gets parred off 
for saying something that sounded comical in my head,
but turns out to be the most foolish shout ever. 

So to be told 'You're so funny' or 'Your blog is jokes'

makes me wanna slap somebody and scream Hallelujah...

...I'm finally the comedienne I've always Aspired to be, 

but now people find me funny when I'm not trying to be funny, 
oh life is complicated ..

If you read my first ever blog post you'll realise that it wasn't funny at all, 

I guess A.Genius turned into and outlet for my dry jokes,

which makes me believe that there's nothing wrong with my jokes,

it's my timing and deliverance that are very dodgy.

On a more positive and exciting note.
A seriously funny guy I met a the Mobos (his table was next to mine) 
last month was Kojo The Comedian

Kojo and I

He has his own Tv show on Mtv Base called Kojo's Comedy Fun House 
and it has literally left me with heartburn, 
stomach cramp, and bruises from falling off my sofa
during a laughing fit many times before !!

I should really be taking notes from this guy.

At least I can never get big headed, 

because when all the compliments come flooding in, 

my friends will always be there to remind me how terrible my shouts are !

Still Aspiring

Success and Hype

I love my followers, even the slightly creepy guy from the Philippines 

who is convinced he is a ''Fuine young man''...

Ok lets not par the boy off, cause that's just wrong ..

But its amazing how we will allow complete randomers to follow us and 

know our every move and thought.

If it was FB I would have blocked all the people I don't know, 

but on twitter we welcome the randomers that make our lives 

that little bit more meaningful.

There's something about a total stranger wanting to hear what
I say and 'follow'ing (no pun intended) my every move.
Lets face it we live in a day and age when a low class slag can be so gassed on her 
own hype that she actually makes a living off of it... ?!

Kat Stacks

She literally gets her grind on ...

So basically, once you empower yourself and have confidence

in whatever you do it's all gravy baby. 

Unless of course you're Lil Mama, then Jesus lord help you, because confidence

has clouded every single ounce of dignity and fashion sense she had...

LIL MAMA CRAZY

Confidence told the woman that she can dress like a pimp 

who's been dumped in a tub of glitter, 

and empowerment has limited her vocab to a simple

''Uh yeah, fo sho, dats hot yo'

..

Enough about the illiterate & loose celebrities, 

because lets face it, they're making their money. 

What I'm getting at is ...

The amount of opportunities we're offered these days to be successful is crazy.

If all these crazy celebwannabees can do it

.. You and I can to .. 

..

If you like A.Genius follow me on Twitter cause the jokes and mad thoughts continue 24/7

 @AspiringGenius

Still Aspiring