Nothing on TV

TV programs are amazing these days.

You can learn and buy anything on television.

Last night I found myself watching 

CSI ,NCIS, Law & Order and Criminal Minds 

all in a row.

I felt like a criminal all night cause I instinctively knew everything that was gonna happen, 

from the murder weapon to the crime motive.

*Does anybody know if it's normal to know how to remove fingerprints 

with a toothpick and some alcohol gel*

TV seems to make us all believe were something that in reality we aren't. 

Take Gok Wan... The mans got hundreds of people everywhere

thinking they are professional stylists ... 

Talking about pear shaped bodies and creating definition in the waist line...

In reality, most people wouldn't be able to match their own shoes 

if they didn't come in pairs, let alone style each other.

Now,

sometimes the culture of the everyday general public has been known to 

cross over into the celebrity entertainment business.....

I vividly remember sitting at home hearing Simon Cowell refer to an

XFactor contestant as having unbelievable SWAGGER... 

Well .. 

I wasn't sure what to do with myself at that point, 

one half of me wanting to vomit with disgust and the other half of me

was physically cringing at the mere thought of Simon in a American Apparel hoddie 

and some Nike SBs talking like he was 20years old...

Then to my horror Cheryl used it repetitively throughout the series,

and combined with her Geordie accent,

it's safe to say I was pretty close to crawling underneath the table and

rocking back and forth in the fetal position..

You've all been there... 

At 2am in the morning, 

you're clawing your eyelids to stay open,

there's nothing to watch so you find yourself 

listening to Bob and Wendy informing you of the 

**Super Slicer**

and suddenly you're wide awake because the

**Super Slicer**

 will transform your every meal into a artistic masterpiece and have

everyone at your dinner parties in awe.

 These people are called 'non actors' yet I have never in all my years 

seen a pair of people so enthusiastic about a food utensil.

By the end of the infomercial I sit there convinced that with Bob and Wendy 

in my life, everything will be perfect, 

and my celery will be diamond shaped. 

I don't even like celery. 

Still Aspiring