Its Fabreezing.

You know its winter when the realization hits you that you're 

gonna have to wear your whole wardrobe at once.

 No lie, I was lying in bed last night thinking ..

''There's guys all over England asking girls
  what they're wearing to bed right now, and receiving the reply ..

Two pairs of Pyjamas

3 Pairs of socks

A size XL Hoodie 

and a Hat ''

Why this amused me so much I don't quite know, 

but I was laughing quite loudly at 2am this morning.

You definitely know its winter when you actually contemplate

putting 3 pairs of tights on underneath your jeans..

The cold makes us do the strangest things,

like I suddenly develop the ability to get dressed in the morning in 30seconds flat, 

completely clothed .. I'm talking scarf and gloves included....

just to minimize the length of time my body is exposed to the open air.

Guys be warned, during the winter, 
underneath the layers and layers of clothes girls legs are hairy...
Leg hair becomes a sort of insulation, 
and if they're not exposed there's no harm in letting 
them grow until it's time to hit the town.

When I was little we didn't get snow like this every winter,

I remember praying for at least 2inches to settle on the ground and it barely did.

In the last few years the snow has been going in, it was great at first,

until it turned to ice and left everyone miserable.

Once the snow turns to ice and sludge, in an attempt to stay on their feet,
everyone starts to walk like they've soiled themselves in their pants...

The funniest thing is when you see someone about to fall,
and they seem to go down in slow motion..

first they pull some dodgy face with their mouth wide open,

then they start to yell and throw their arms backwards, 

lastly they grab onto anything around them including strangers as a final

resort to hang onto their last shred of dignity...

Little do they know, their dignity was long gone 

way before they connected with the pavement.

The worst is the look of shame. 

I call it the look of shame because when someone drops, 

they then look around hoping nobody saw them hit the floor,

the shame part comes when the person on the floor 

happens to look across the road and notice me

staring at them, 

pointing, 

and mouthing ''SHAMEEEE''

Still Aspiring