Friday 14 January 2011

A.Genius Holiday

U.S.A
View from my hotel onto 6th Ave.


For the last Month I've been living it up in the United States of America ...
So this Special Edition USA blog will be my accounts of my trip, 
written on my trusty BlackBerry as the predicaments happened  ..


America is strange and different,
but when I sit down in a restaurant for breakfast with my family, 


I don't expect to look up towards the ceiling and see a giant Cockroach staring in my face,
like me and him are long time friends who would love to catch up over a cup of coffee 
(see what i did there *Literally over a cup of coffee*)
........
I'm currently sitting in the bank, and a man has parked his orange pickup
truck in the car-park with his dog in the back ... 
Totally normal and a expected thing had it not been for the fact that
the dog pulled up with his sunglasses on his furry forehead,
and then proceeded to put them on his eyes ..
Yeah pink sunglasses on the dogs head.
Everyone knows that America is home to the wild and weird,
but I'm contemplating whether everyone including me in this bank are 
seeing things cause this cannot be a normal occurrence.
People over here take everything to the extreme,
some guy was talking to a shop assistant about his new baby which
was asleep in its pushchair, 
turns out the 'baby' was a DOG,
yes a DOG in a PUSHCHAIR
.. as in ....
the 'Woof Woof' was in the Pram.
.......
Because car journeys back in England are not filled with an
assortment of painful occurrences, such as my sister singing her improvised
version of what I could only describe as JLS/Jason Derulo mixtape.
My parents have had a wonderful idea, 
that we take a road trip down to surprise my great aunt in Boston ... 
Yes 20 hours of undisturbed joy and family bonding.. Ahem ..


  
  Little Lili giving her evil eye.

We've just left International Drive in Orlando, Florida ..
Imagine acres of every shop you could ever imagine..
Needless to say I've spent a large wad of cash,
and bought 4 pairs of shoes within 2 hours ..


... and nearly broke down in a fit of 
hysteria and melted into one of my legendary pools of hot chocolate after I
visited the American Apparel store ..





We are currently on our way to some other state ... 

Last night was epic to say the least,
we went from Orlando to South and North Carolina, 
Washington DC to New Jersey, then Connecticut ...
Florida
South Carolina


The White House
Capitol Hill, DC

Washington DC
Then we stopped at a hotel for the night in order to rid ourselves of the Car hair 
and to generally prevent us from turning up on my great aunts door step
like wild animals whom have been dragged through a bush backwards... 

My Aunts reaction was priceless,
after showing her complete and utter surprise she went on to verbally
attack us for not telling her about the surprise, 
(as if a surprise can still be a surprise when 
you warn the person you're surprising)
she then nearly burst into tears from happiness.. 
.. good times.
 Yesterday we got snowed in by a ginormous blizzard, 
like literally couldn't leave the city....
so my cousins took us all Sledding down some huge mountain that had me
questioning my sanity by the time I had climbed to the top. 
Needless to say black folk and snow do not go together,
I had on enough clothes to attract pitiful looks
from other people when I was eating 
(In America, if you see a fat person
they are generally eating, but that's a whole other story)


By the time I returned home,
I had snow and ice in places that I'm positive never existed up until that point.
Maybe they did exist, but I've never checked so .. ahem ..
After a wonderful time in Rhode Island, we set off for New York city !!
We spent 4 days in New York city 29thDec - 1stJan,
doing nothing but shopping and eating 
and some more shopping and a bit of sleeping ...
I have never been anywhere where you can leave your hotel at 2am and
go shopping because everywhere is open and busy ...
I have quite possibly strained both 
my wrists from carrying heavy shopping bags ..

 The fact that my dad managed to blag our way into a restricted area of Time Square
on New Years Eve was probably the highlight of my trip ...
2010 was an amazing year for me, 2011 should be even better .



*For some reason I suddenly lost all control of my lisp*

Still Aspiring








3 comments:

Ann said...

fantastic

Simone said...

so jealous

GET ME LOLLY said...

Can I be adopted into your family please?? Thanks :-)