A.Genius Returns

Dear world.

To say I've been away for a while would be an understatement.

I've more than neglected my blogging responsibilities, which i deeply apologize for...

I managed to suck up my pride and return to what fuels my nerdy sense of imaginiation thanks to a little help from my Aunt & Mother.

I thought there is no better way to return to you all than with hot gossip from what is probably my favourite event of the year, The MOBO Awards.

MOBO 2011

No-one will understand the somersault my face performed when I unsuspectingly 

walked into the VIP hotel's lobby with pink curlers all over my head....

It wasn't the hair accesories that was the problem,

it was more the fact that there was multiple celebrities and industry proffesionals,

mosying around the lobby bearing witness to the assorted candyfloss on my head.

The strange thing was I wasn't ashamed in the slightest, 

I was more disgusted at myself for not being ashamed, 

if that is actually possible ?!

Until a photographer from Loose Women 'papped' my mother and I... 

and then all was forgotten about my dilema, 

however I can see these photos creeping back to haunt me or my kids in later years. 

The night continued in top form, 

my uncle @BOBBYBOVELL was nominated but unfortunately just missed 

out on the Best Gospel category....

I then reassured him that his swag wasn't compact enough to fit into the category 

without pushing all the other nominees aside, and that his time will soon come...

Because it's never to soon for jokes.

Proceeding the awards I attended the Vip After Party with my uncle.

I met so many lovely people who were all down to earth and friendly, 

memories that I will never forget 

(that last line sounds like I'm going to break into song)

Myself and Preeya Kalidas

Myself and Vis

.... However ....

What I am about to lay down on this screen for you is a moment too epic

that even a Aspiring Genius such as myself couldnt comprehend the 

intensity of what had just happened...

The time: A wintery wednesday night,

The place: The Corinthian Club - Scotland,

The mood: Fabulous with a hint of swag.... 

I'm sitting down doing a little 'chair bubbling' enjoying the music,

Dappy ...yes Dino Contostavlos from NDubz enters the club. 

Everyones doing some sort of side eye manover trying not to be too bait 

about checking out the celebrity that just entered the room in a gorgeous

electric blue suit that only he could pull off with a matching Obey Snapback. 

Dappy and his entourage are now standing directly in front of me, 

with their backs towards me.... until, Dappy 

(or Daps as I should now call him) 

turns around smiles at me, stretches out his hand towards me for mine, 

grabs my hand and says ''You alright darling'', 

gives me a cheeky little smile (He also smized at me)

,turns around and dissapears off with his henchmen. 

Well everyones now wondering who the hell I am for him to physically acknowledge me,

I was wondering myself but I wasn't going to let them know that. 

If I wasn't so busy maintaining my celebrity status I would've legged it for my inhalor, 

but I probably could've had someone bring it over for me. I wish. 

The event as a whole was such a good night, 

very different to Liverpool cause Scouseland did it BIG last year 

*A.Genius at the MOBOs 2010*

but it was still quite sick... 

So the next day, I'm standing in the hotel lobby waiting on the lift, 

and along it comes, 

the doors open and who else but Tinchy Stryder swaggers out. 

Picture this, we maintain eye conact throughout the lift exchange,

he then points at my hoodie and says 

''YMCMB Young Money Cash Money Billionares, Sickkk'' 

and I reply with 

''Yeah it is init haha''

The lift doors then shut and i found myself alone sitting on the lift floor 

hypenventilating wondering where on earth was my assistant/henchman with my Inhalor ?

Still Aspiring

 

Aspiring Adults

Throughout most peoples childhood there would have been that one
banging song that was so sick, 

but totally inappropriate for a 7year old to sing along to. 

Personally I loved R.Kelly - Ignition 

...

 Lyrics:

Now its like murder she wrote
Once i get you out them clothes
Privacy is on the door
Still they can hear you screaming more
Girl I'm feeling what you feeling
No more hoping and wishing
I'm about to take my key and

Stick it in the ignition

 ... 

Its only when the song came on MtvBase today, that I actually burst into a fit of 

hysteria thinking about me and my cousins singing 
the song word for word when our parents weren't listening, 

winding out our necks and fully immersing ourselves in the remix.

At the time I didn't think anything was wrong with it, 

I was obviously completely innocent to the meaning of the song,

and that's how I should have been ! 

In all fairness the songs back then have nothing on the ones now ...

For instance Lil Jon's song Get Low is so terrible I wouldn't even sing it myself, 
let alone a small child singing it with passion and conviction ..

.. Check the Lyrics:

To the window, to the wall, (to dat wall)
To the sweat drip down my balls (MY BALLS)

..

(The rest of the lyrics are far too inappropriate for my younger readers

and may cause the older ones to have a heart attack) 

Having said that, my 6yr old sister and I do sing the whole 'sweat dripping' 

phrase to just wind my mum up.

...

One of my most favorite songs ever is called 'Call Me' by Skyy

I guess there were little kids back in the day screaming this in front of their radios 

to the disappointment of their mothers ! 

 

'Though your girlfriends a friend of mine, here's my number and a dime call me anytime''

Still Aspiring

My Life

 I sat wondering if my life is normal. 

I mean not many people can write and sustain a blog about their comical and awkward life.

Everything I write is a true and an actual event, 

and to be honest I've wondered if maybe my wild life is a little too crazy !!

Most people don't hijack a classroom with all their classmates and have a rave in our tap shoes, and playing 007 on your street trying to avoid the Jehovah's witness' is not really 

a common occurrence to most people either.

I often find myself in the most random situations thinking some utter nonsense, 

that actually leaves me wondering if I'm the only one who thinks these kind of things ...

Like ..

Do the people who put Aglets (the plastic tip) on shoelaces have to have detailed training,

or have a degree in order to be responsible for one of the most important parts of a shoe ?

..

Is it completely normal that I know how to gut a fish and complete a full makeover with a simple hairgrip ?

..

 JayZ must see Beyonce without her wigs and with no bra on ?!

..

Why do the idiots in every supermarket ask me if I would like a bag .... 

when I obviously have a trolley full of shopping and I obviously didn't bring my own bags..

Or they'll hand you 2 bags for everything, then casually ask if you need more..

'No course not, I'll just carry the rest on my head'

..

Am I the only one who takes great joy in hovering up large items such as socks and hairbands ?

I've heard its been called the 

''Hover Challenge''

and we all must do it at some point, 

yanno when you cannot be bothered to pick up the stuff on the floor,

so you stand and think how to get rid of the 'sock' without actually moving it..

I find myself staring at it for a good minute or so...

waiting, 

contemplating,

then ...

I make sure my mums not in the room 

(because she wouldn't be to happy to know how much of a rebel her daughter is)

then ''Vooooooshhh'' and the sock disappears. 

....

I've learnt to deal with the fact that I'm not normal, 

but I would hate to be normal if that means that I'm not me.

If I wasn't me, I'd still wanna be me .. ahem..

Ignore me. 

Still Aspiring

Someone change the subject ..QUICK

Everyone suffers during those awkward unavoidable moments ..

Yanno like when someone calls themselves fat and they are actually fat, 

you have three options...

A. Lie and say ''no you're not''

(which makes you a bad and dishonest friend) 

B. Agree

C. Sit and simmer in the stench of utter silence

Now these moments are harsh enough without throwing a teacher into the mix.

So there I was in dance class, and randomly there was a small stress ball at the back of the class...

Some girl nearly trips over the ball which is when my male teacher exclaims

''ARE MY BALLS GETTING IN YOUR WAY?''

Well...

The teacher carried on talking, 

but the 5 other studentsand I stood in the most uncomfortable 

situation we would probably EVER find ourselves in,

not even daring to laugh as we were trying to avoid the teacher asking the

inevitable question ''What's so funny ?''

Just another day in my life of unbearable awkwardness.

I'll soon develop the much needed lack of emotion. 

Until I do, Help.

Still Aspiring

Though 5 million times less complicated than Facebook,

it's a breeding ground for cyber beef. 

No-one used to go around cussing each other on their FB status' with such passion

..or parring whole nations of people through one worldwide debate.

Thanks to Twitter music artists have collaborated, 

people have become famous, 

Xfactor has hilarious running commentary,

and Paris Hilton has been caught in possession of Cocaine... ahem ...

The only thing that i find deeply worrying, 

and 

could in fact reduce me to a blubbering mess of hot milk chocolate.. 

Is the fact that in years to come people will have to tell their kids how they met.. 

''Wait, so mum you met dad on twitter ?'' 

Now lets consider the fact that unlike Facebook or even Myspace, 

Twitter doesn't really support life sharing in the way that other sites do. 

There's no instant chat or large information section to tell you loads about that 57 year old guy, called 'Jeff',

 

who is leading you to believe he is a 

19 year old girl called Alesha ...

So how the hell do people meet prospective guys/girls by reading

a series of 140 character sentences. 

That to me is begging it.

*Begging it is a term used to refer to a person who goes out of their way for some kinda attention from the opposite gender or friends.

Still Aspiring

He was defo staring at ME.

My week has been such a blur ......

I had a performance with JeeJee
(Janiece Myers - a talented young lady who rocks the mic right)
as I am one of her backing dancers ....
never before have I been so scared before a performance,
because the routine had been changed last minute ...
and I mean LAST minute during the tech rehearsal.

However,
the show must go on,
professionals have to deal with anything that happens.

Yanno like when the person in charge of costumes forgot to buy my tights,
so she sent me on stage in some next, bust up, hole in crotch, laddered,
I don't have 99p to spend in Primark, tights.
Hey but I think it was OK !



--------------------------------------------------


I also went to London TWN .. my home TWN.
.with the little cousins.

I went for a christening and to see a play called
Cat on A hot Tin Roof.

The play was amazing, the cast consisted of Richard Blackwood, Adrian Lester, Phylicia Rashad, James Earl Jones, just to name a few and was directed by Debbie Allen ...

Yanno the dance teacher from the old Fame
or
The the headmistress from the new Fame
...
depending on when you were born.

I was front row festering and basking in their talent (and sweat .. not literally).
I would never lie to you .. but Richard Blackwood kept looking at me !
And I was thinking ..
''Oh Yeah .. you've defo read my Blog,''
*insert smug smile*
''and now your all starstruck and can't focus cause little ol' me is watching.''

Oh gosh I'm talking rubbish now
.... which means I really need to sleep ...

But he did look at me alot.

Still Aspiring