Though 5 million times less complicated than Facebook,

it's a breeding ground for cyber beef. 

No-one used to go around cussing each other on their FB status' with such passion

..or parring whole nations of people through one worldwide debate.

Thanks to Twitter music artists have collaborated, 

people have become famous, 

Xfactor has hilarious running commentary,

and Paris Hilton has been caught in possession of Cocaine... ahem ...

The only thing that i find deeply worrying, 

and 

could in fact reduce me to a blubbering mess of hot milk chocolate.. 

Is the fact that in years to come people will have to tell their kids how they met.. 

''Wait, so mum you met dad on twitter ?'' 

Now lets consider the fact that unlike Facebook or even Myspace, 

Twitter doesn't really support life sharing in the way that other sites do. 

There's no instant chat or large information section to tell you loads about that 57 year old guy, called 'Jeff',

 

who is leading you to believe he is a 

19 year old girl called Alesha ...

So how the hell do people meet prospective guys/girls by reading

a series of 140 character sentences. 

That to me is begging it.

*Begging it is a term used to refer to a person who goes out of their way for some kinda attention from the opposite gender or friends.

Still Aspiring

Keyboard Courage

It's great saying that behind your Laptop. 

I rate you highly if you plucked up the courage and 

said something you wouldn't say face to face 

 because you felt more comfortable behind the computer 

and

ended up with your husband or wife ....

The problem occurs when online arguments get out of hand ... 

phrases start to arise from the surface of the

''Keyboard Courage'' syndrome.

Such as

.. 

''Watch when I see you !!''
..
My boyfriend/brother/cousin is gonna mash you up. 
..

or my personal favorite

..

''You best hope I don't catch you pon road !''

That last one is highly ghetto, 

yet extremely effective on the easily intimidated.

The truth is no action is ever taken,

simply because they are Courageous Keyboard users.

All 'caps lock' and no confidence.

Still Aspiring

Don't shop in NEW LOOK

I shop. 

Such a complete sentence.

Yesterday I was shopping in New Look, minding my own business.

I was in the kids section looking at the slightly disturbing hot pants

and skin tight dresses made to fit 10 year olds.  
 
 Noah Cyrus - C'mon tell me this ain't DODGY.
 ......................

You know when your shopping and you pull a item out to have a look, 

but the clothes are packed to tightly too get the item back in ... 

well I did that with a pair of shorts, 

and a sales assistant nearby made the 

loudest huffing and puffing noise

with some big sighhhhh at the end ... 
For a second I thought she was Puff the Magic Dragon

 ...

You should have seen my face,

if looks could kill 
..

it was one of them *She best not be chatting about me* moments.

... 

Then she marched over and fixed the shorts back into place and stormed away. 

I was thinking damn fool . . . no need to be so rude, 

even if she had just fixed those clothes before I messed it up,
I didn't do it on purpose.
+

It's her job to fix them properly...

...if I don't go in the shop and inspect the clothes that I want to buy
then she has no job, 

she won't be needed if there isn't anything to fix ..
then she'd have NO reason to huff.

Well who told me ? 

I cannot lie, I got a bad case of the evils ....

Jam started walking round the shop and purposely leaving clothes sticking out on the snid.

She put so much effort into fixing that first pair of shorts back, 

that by the time she was finished she would of had a full workout. 

Unfortunately I didn't stay to witness the full extent of my wrath. 

I made my way to the till

... 

to pay for my multiple pairs of hot pants 

... 

watch when I flex those babys in summer. 

Still Aspiring 

Class ...

Far to many times have I been in a rave/party etc.
with girls who are dressed to impress. Next thing you now
.. TOE and ANKLES ..
on show like a prize winning foot.


I'm not even talking about house parties because that's different.
Girls need to learn that if you leave your house with your shoes on,
you should return with your shoes on.
We are girls, which means we bear the agony that materialises in those 5inch heels and we look good until we reach our door step.
It's simply ghetto, and trashy to be walking around a club
without your shoes on, stepping on bodily fluids and in drinks and business ..
like that's attractive.
What kind of guys are gonna think that's nice ??
The ones with no standards ..
who still wear tracksuits and mash-up trainers on a daily basis,
like they're going out to play.
Yanno what I'm talking about !!

The kind of boy who thinks LYNX is a bath
and doesn't have the foggiest idea on how to wash his own clothes ..
yet he is old enough to rave.

Dont wear the shoes if you can't handle them.

And you wonder why you're always a link but never a wifey.

Still Aspiring

It's in reverse stoopid

Hmmm . what do you do when your waiting for your mum outside in the car ?

Lets see ... crash it.

No ... the car is fine it wasn't crashed, no insurance write-offs here.
I'll explain,
My brother decided he wanted to move the car forward as a joke..
and see if my mum notices it's in a different position from when she left it.
So he hops into the front seat and begins the process of turning the engine on and attempts to put the car in drive
... But Nooooo ...
it doesn't move
... and I'm thinking
''Lord please don't let him put it in reverse and crash into the car behind us.''
Turns out I started fiddling and put it in reverse myself
and guess what we started to go backwards ..
by now I'm covering my mouth trying to stifle the squeals and covering my eyes, because for some reason I thought that if I didn't see the car crash ..
..it wouldn't crash..
The ''designated driver'' was grinning for some reason,
I swear it must have been the adrenalin of moving
''slightly backwards''.
Woahhh what a rush ?!?!
During all this madness ... a friend from way back then appears at my window
and whilst I'm all hyped,
I'm trying to take in his recent weight gain in his facial area .
This friend seems disgusted at the fact that between the two of us we
could move the car forwards
. Shameee on our lives .
We finally moved it ..
and my mum gets back in the car
... and before she can even notice ...
my little sister blurts out in a fit of laughter
''HAHA MUUUMMM THEY MOVED THE CAR''
The 5 year old killed it ..... Dead.

Still Aspiring