Neighbours

Neighbours are the most unpredictable bunch of people you will ever know.

I'm not talking about that annoying soap where everyone

talks with a foreign accent.... I mean your actual everyday neighbours.

Where ever you live you always have the 'difficult' neighbour,

.....yanno....

the one who complains about the loud parties and the

kids football that keeps going over the wall !!

What do they want you to do about the parties ?

Cancel your birthday until its an appropriate time for them ?

 Doughnuts ...

I like to imagine these kind of people as socially challenged

 idiots who sit in their houses all day long waiting for a bit of

 excitement in their lives, that may come in the form a child's small ball...

Is it just me or is that last statement creepy ?!

 Having said that it does express how dodgy these neighbours actually are !

There's always the arguers ...

In my street they come in the form of two lesbian lovers who live directly

opposite my house and also a chavy family a few doors down.

The lady lovers physically and verbally argue constantly,

 and they once smashed their own windows in...

Don't ask me, I really don't understand the concept of smashing

your own windows, you must be real special to feel that you've won the

 argument after smashing your own window...

Who's feelings is that supposed to hurt exactly ?

 Erm. Ok.

Everyone has the nosey neighbour.

My version stands outside her house no matter what weather it is,

 she lives on the opposite side of the road a few doors down..

She has an ASBO daughter who thinks it's ok to emerge from

her own house looking like a smack'ed who hasn't had her fix ..

You can just tell from the way she looks that she definitely hasn't had a bath

(unless you count body spray as a bath)

(if you do count body spray as a bath you're just disgusting)

 but that's just one of my many assumptions because in the 5years

 I've been her neighbour I haven't ever dared to get close enough

 to prove my theories correct !

My nosey neighbour also has a son who I am convinced must be suffering

 from some sort of mental lack of common sense and general

 basic intelligence, this is not another assumption, these theories were made

 concrete from the moment I saw the kid running down the road,

 at top speed,

sprinting like he was in the Olympics,

 in nothing but a bath towel. . .

Yet after all this,

the woman still gossips in the sunshine and the snow,

 in her pyjamas.. with other neighbours as if her own family are angels.

Now absolutely everyone has that one neighbour

 who they suspect of being a full blown crack dealer.

Now I'm not even talking weed or ''happy cigarettes''

I'm talking a established crack'ed factory supplier...

I know that the amount of dodgy happenings on my street is no

 coincidence, and some peoples behaviour just leads

 me to come to that one and only conclusion...

I refuse to put specifics on A.Genius as I am a valued member

of the community who would be gravelly missed if anything

suspicious ever happened to my dear self

*ahem*

but trust me folks, I'm speaking the truth.

Still Aspiring

Did everyone leave the building then Yh ?

Never before have I had to deal with
the ninny, contradictory, foot sweats, that are teachers.
My teachers have always been my mumsie and daddums.
Don't get me wrong,
I do have some wonderful understanding teachers
whom are caring and
blah de blah sopp sopp goey gush.
*Ahem*
But today the horrible kind of teacher,
drew a line in front of her stubby little legs, and well and truly crossed it.

The fire alarm goes off and she leaves the whole class and legs it off
as if she isn't responsible for us all.
She ran out of the class like a fat kid chasing a Big Mac.


THE CHEEK
My mother doesn't pay £5000 tuition for the teacher
to leave me to burn in a building.
Then when she decided to come and find us outside,
she had the cheek to ask 'if everyone left the building',
with a smile on her face ?
My reply was
.......
''I dunno''
*insert vexation*
''There might still be someone in there.''
*insert fake smile*
........

I mean teachers are so contradictory sometimes !!
They expect you to know what they want you to do ...
even before they tell you.
You just wanna ask
'Do I look like I'm off Heroes ?? am I supposed to read your mind?'

. All I'm saying is .
..
My mother does not mess with her child's education.
Lets not be silly now...
If she didn't care how I was treated by other teachers
then she wouldn't have educated me for 15 years.

Still Aspiring