Neighbours

Neighbours are the most unpredictable bunch of people you will ever know.

I'm not talking about that annoying soap where everyone

talks with a foreign accent.... I mean your actual everyday neighbours.

Where ever you live you always have the 'difficult' neighbour,

.....yanno....

the one who complains about the loud parties and the

kids football that keeps going over the wall !!

What do they want you to do about the parties ?

Cancel your birthday until its an appropriate time for them ?

 Doughnuts ...

I like to imagine these kind of people as socially challenged

 idiots who sit in their houses all day long waiting for a bit of

 excitement in their lives, that may come in the form a child's small ball...

Is it just me or is that last statement creepy ?!

 Having said that it does express how dodgy these neighbours actually are !

There's always the arguers ...

In my street they come in the form of two lesbian lovers who live directly

opposite my house and also a chavy family a few doors down.

The lady lovers physically and verbally argue constantly,

 and they once smashed their own windows in...

Don't ask me, I really don't understand the concept of smashing

your own windows, you must be real special to feel that you've won the

 argument after smashing your own window...

Who's feelings is that supposed to hurt exactly ?

 Erm. Ok.

Everyone has the nosey neighbour.

My version stands outside her house no matter what weather it is,

 she lives on the opposite side of the road a few doors down..

She has an ASBO daughter who thinks it's ok to emerge from

her own house looking like a smack'ed who hasn't had her fix ..

You can just tell from the way she looks that she definitely hasn't had a bath

(unless you count body spray as a bath)

(if you do count body spray as a bath you're just disgusting)

 but that's just one of my many assumptions because in the 5years

 I've been her neighbour I haven't ever dared to get close enough

 to prove my theories correct !

My nosey neighbour also has a son who I am convinced must be suffering

 from some sort of mental lack of common sense and general

 basic intelligence, this is not another assumption, these theories were made

 concrete from the moment I saw the kid running down the road,

 at top speed,

sprinting like he was in the Olympics,

 in nothing but a bath towel. . .

Yet after all this,

the woman still gossips in the sunshine and the snow,

 in her pyjamas.. with other neighbours as if her own family are angels.

Now absolutely everyone has that one neighbour

 who they suspect of being a full blown crack dealer.

Now I'm not even talking weed or ''happy cigarettes''

I'm talking a established crack'ed factory supplier...

I know that the amount of dodgy happenings on my street is no

 coincidence, and some peoples behaviour just leads

 me to come to that one and only conclusion...

I refuse to put specifics on A.Genius as I am a valued member

of the community who would be gravelly missed if anything

suspicious ever happened to my dear self

*ahem*

but trust me folks, I'm speaking the truth.

Still Aspiring

Class ...

Far to many times have I been in a rave/party etc.
with girls who are dressed to impress. Next thing you now
.. TOE and ANKLES ..
on show like a prize winning foot.


I'm not even talking about house parties because that's different.
Girls need to learn that if you leave your house with your shoes on,
you should return with your shoes on.
We are girls, which means we bear the agony that materialises in those 5inch heels and we look good until we reach our door step.
It's simply ghetto, and trashy to be walking around a club
without your shoes on, stepping on bodily fluids and in drinks and business ..
like that's attractive.
What kind of guys are gonna think that's nice ??
The ones with no standards ..
who still wear tracksuits and mash-up trainers on a daily basis,
like they're going out to play.
Yanno what I'm talking about !!

The kind of boy who thinks LYNX is a bath
and doesn't have the foggiest idea on how to wash his own clothes ..
yet he is old enough to rave.

Dont wear the shoes if you can't handle them.

And you wonder why you're always a link but never a wifey.

Still Aspiring

Missions

WOW
Saturday was just one big crying fest of laughter .... cause that made sense RIGHT. I went to a fancy dress party in full geek costume.

I had a good time, but it was the adventure afterwards that really formed memories !! It started with us deciding to go to McDonald's at 2 in the morning . As you do. We walked there cause it was only around the corner. There was .... Paislie walking in the middle of the road with her eyes
closed tripping on kerbs and business. Maleka was skipping in circles in the middle of the street wearing a Spiderman backpack. Kiesha's on a march for food so she's ten paces ahead.
Just madness.

We passed a parked car with and inch of frost on the top,
it was then that we realised how cold we were !
...
When we got there we realised it was shut, ... darn it ...
but Kiesha was ahead of us so we let her open the door anyways. Her face was a picture when she was struggling with the door wondering why she wasn't strong enough to open it.
So of course everyone had the same idea at the same time... we all ended up in the drive-through sitting in a car formation ... attempting to get served at Window Number 1.
Feisty people .. nowhere does it say that your car cannot be imaginary ???



Hmmmmph .
We turned around and there was Paislie in the middle aisle
of the 6 lane main road, trying to get a taxi ...
it wouldn't have been so funny if she didn't have on a full geek outfit complete with American Apparel socks, micro shorts, shirt and glasses with tape round the middle, Oh did i mention she had on my brothers waterproof green mac coat, that was skimming the floor when she walked.
We finally got a Taxi and sat in the drive-through for about 10 minutes ...
refusing to acknowledge the taxi meter rising....
because we where determined to get McDonald's.
Kiesha was sick a couple of times outside the car,
she then nodded off only to wake up 5 minutes later
and ask in a worried voice .... ....... ''Have u lot ordered yet ??''
We finally got to the legendary Window Number 1 and
made sure we cussed out Terry
*dunno if his name was Terry but we'll call him that anyway*
so Terry was ''dissed'' for not serving us when we had our imaginary car, and thinking that we couldn't afford a taxi.

in all every ones stomach was killing them from
laughter once we got home which was around ... 03:45 on Sunday morning.

Still Aspiring

Teen drinking is very bad

Drunkards
Pissed
Liquored
Smashed
Bevvied
Gone

Alcohol changes people.



I was out with my friends on Friday night,
and it was like being with a bunch of people I never knew.
The thing was they were all themselves ..
but they acted as if they were taking the piss
.. they weren't taking the piss they were just piss'ED.
Completely gone.

I've realised that there are many types of drunks.

There's the emotional drunks ...

the ones who scream 'I love you' every 3 minutes
and give you more kisses than you've ever gotten on one night.
The emotional drunks can get quite annoying,
especially when it's some random 6ft 2 man in juicy couture pants,
hugging you from the rear every now and again.

Then there is the swearers ...
Yanno the type that swear every other word and get all angry and
rilled up, about the fact that the DJ has just put on JLS,
and now he wants to ''smash his 'ed in''.

The hypos ....
Who don't seem to stop talking, or dancing like they
have a itch in a personal place and don't want to
be bait and scratch it with everyone looking.

The sleeper ....
Who need to catch five once that liquor hits their system.
This is basically half of my family aged 50 - 90.

The gossiper ...
Everyone knows one of these.
Yanno, the person who lets all the secrets go once drunk.
Talking about who was born out of wedlock,
and telling randomers where the family will is hidden.

Aww I'm so glad I was well and truly sober.
As the madness that went on was crazy for me to handle sober,
let alone drunk and unaware of my actions.
(8)Teen drinking is very bad ...
... Yo but I got a fake ID though (8)

Still Aspiring