Neighbours are the most unpredictable bunch of people you will ever know.
I'm not talking about that annoying soap where everyone
talks with a foreign accent.... I mean your actual everyday neighbours.
Where ever you live you always have the 'difficult' neighbour,
.....yanno....
the one who complains about the loud parties and the
kids football that keeps going over the wall !!
What do they want you to do about the parties ?
Cancel your birthday until its an appropriate time for them ?
Doughnuts ...
I like to imagine these kind of people as socially challenged
idiots who sit in their houses all day long waiting for a bit of
excitement in their lives, that may come in the form a child's small ball...
Is it just me or is that last statement creepy ?!
Having said that it does express how dodgy these neighbours actually are !
There's always the arguers ...
In my street they come in the form of two lesbian lovers who live directly
opposite my house and also a chavy family a few doors down.
The lady lovers physically and verbally argue constantly,
and they once smashed their own windows in...
Don't ask me, I really don't understand the concept of smashing
your own windows, you must be real special to feel that you've won the
argument after smashing your own window...
Who's feelings is that supposed to hurt exactly ?
Erm. Ok.
Everyone has the nosey neighbour.
My version stands outside her house no matter what weather it is,
she lives on the opposite side of the road a few doors down..
She has an ASBO daughter who thinks it's ok to emerge from
her own house looking like a smack'ed who hasn't had her fix ..
You can just tell from the way she looks that she definitely hasn't had a bath
(unless you count body spray as a bath)
(if you do count body spray as a bath you're just disgusting)
but that's just one of my many assumptions because in the 5years
I've been her neighbour I haven't ever dared to get close enough
to prove my theories correct !
My nosey neighbour also has a son who I am convinced must be suffering
from some sort of mental lack of common sense and general
basic intelligence, this is not another assumption, these theories were made
concrete from the moment I saw the kid running down the road,
at top speed,
sprinting like he was in the Olympics,
in nothing but a bath towel. . .
Yet after all this,
the woman still gossips in the sunshine and the snow,
in her pyjamas.. with other neighbours as if her own family are angels.
Now absolutely everyone has that one neighbour
who they suspect of being a full blown crack dealer.
Now I'm not even talking weed or ''happy cigarettes''
I'm talking a established crack'ed factory supplier...
I know that the amount of dodgy happenings on my street is no
coincidence, and some peoples behaviour just leads
me to come to that one and only conclusion...
I refuse to put specifics on A.Genius as I am a valued member
of the community who would be gravelly missed if anything
suspicious ever happened to my dear self
*ahem*
but trust me folks, I'm speaking the truth.
Still Aspiring
