HELP ... I'm Jewish or maybe Muslim.

 

Jehovah's Witness have taken over my road so I'm currently blogging from a secluded location

.....

'crouched low underneath my window ledge out of sight, 

I have enough food and water for days so I should be ok'

.....

I joke I joke 

But I have literally 'James Bonded' it down my road trying to avoid them like a 007 agent.

Now it's not their religion I have the issue with, 
it's the way they rudely try to throw it down my throat.

I understand trying to recruit new church members, but eyeing my skirt length up with disgust and blocking me from walking past unless I listen to what they have to say I taking it too far.

Let me set the scene, 

They arrive on my road in a large minibus as if they're going to war,

and instantly theres an airy feeling in the atmosphere.

My street suddenly becomes a ghost town,

because everyone takes cover from these rather impertinent African ladies 

who want to bully you into loving their god.

UNLEASHING WRATH ONTO THEIR FELLOW HUMANS  ?? 

Sin ?

But NOOOO Jam had to be at the corner shop when they arrived,

leaving me with no choice but to leg it down my road trying to avoid making eye contact .

Now I have been raised with impeccable manners,

but when this one woman caught me and attempted to stuff leaflets into my bag 

...Oh it got rough...

It didn't really ...

I just cussed her out whilst throwing the wasted rainforest resources onto the pavement. 

Bombed it the rest of the way home and breathed a sigh of relief when I reached my house.

I now greet them with 'Shalom' or 'Asalamalakum'.

Still Aspiring